Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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