Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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