Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
