But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
