If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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