She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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