He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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