well you can't waste a boner
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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