i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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