Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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