It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
