I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
