I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
