You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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