she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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