He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
