Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Welp...herpes.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Randomize
