Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
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