i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
