my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
