I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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