i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
