Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
