We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
