gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
