Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
