I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
