I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
