is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
