are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
