loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
that's an acceptable place to lick
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
