I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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