You smell like stripper and shame
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
