Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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