Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
