yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I'm always down for nudity.
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