You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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