Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
