I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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