is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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