I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Randomize
