Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
he fucked my hip out of place.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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