Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
