so that wasnt chicken after all
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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