We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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