someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
So. Much. Porn.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
