My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
