apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
