I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I intend to get homeless drunk
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
