Having a random hookup so left but love u
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
